Fear

I keep having nightmares that I end up with a c-section.

I do not want a c-section. I would rather deliver breech than have a c-section. My Ob tried to tell me that breech births have "basically been outlawed" uh, no.

I gave my IMs lots of info about homebirth, but got no response.

I am a little sad. These are not my babies but I DO have to be the one giving birth to them.

I like the OB practice we are at. I would feel better if I had someone backing me on what I want though. The Obs there are pretty much all on the same page from what I am told. They like c-sections. They are easier. I understand that, but labor and birth isn't always what is easiest.

I guess I better get used to the idea of being chopped open like a cow. I tell you what they better knock me out, I dont wanna feel a damn thing. I also have no freaking help when I come home from the hospital. That will be fun, major surgery and caring for a 3 and 2 year old that I am a single parent to.

I am hormonal today. Can't you tell...

15 weeks tomorrow..

Updates

Nothing to update lol. I feel fine. Hungry all the time. My back hurts, but other than that..nothing. I feel them move alot, A is getting more and more active.

According to my scale I am still 236 I don't know how the drs scale said 242....oh well

Ill post belly pics this afternoon

second trimester belly

Updates

Not much lol

I have been sick all week, between a back ache and the kids being sick we have just laid in bed all week. My back has finally stopped hurting as much, it still hurts alot though, gonna see about getting into the chiro soon.

I think my belly is finally out of the bloat stage, as you can tell by this weeks pic I look smaller but it is just cause I finally fixed my gas/constipation issues. I found benefiber caplets and take 3 a day, NO MORE CONSTIPATION! YIPPEE! So I am no longer bloated.

I feel both the babies move now, baby B is by far the most active. It likes to get in the top most corner of my uterus and stretch out like it is just gonna make itself some more room. A flops around occasionally but not much, it is just a quick thump/flick here and there but not as much activity as B.

As per my scale I still haven't gained any weight. I don't know what was up with the Drs scale last week because it was about 8lbs off from mine, and mine was only 2lb off from the REs...maybe it was cause I had an afternoon appt, IDK. Guess I need to start keeping track of my weight.

Starting Weight: 245
First OB Weight: 242 (home scale says 236)

We have appts again 11/13 and 11/19 with the Ob and then the peri

All my tests and screens that we had done between the peri and OB came back normal. I just knew I was gonna fail that glucose test but I didn't....hmmm that is a first lol

First Trimester Belly

The last week of the first trimester

Updates

So I don't feel pregnant this week. No back pain, no nausia, just feeling normal.

The peri just called and said that the 1st Tri Screen results came back normal so that is good.

I am growing still obviously...but I dont think there is as big of a difference this week, the belly post will follow this one so you can see for yourself.

Spoke with the Doula yesterday. I really like her. She said that the practice that we are using is really big on pushing c-sections, even though they told us they weren't. She said that they will tell you that, I guess like a bait and switch. She reccommended another OB, but I don't know if we will switch or not. I guess it is something I will discuss with my IMs when they get back.

I guess that is all for the update today.

Belly pics to follow

Today's Peri appt

My appt went great! I have no pics but the babies are fine, he said there measurments are normal which is great! They are the same size range they have been in wiht baby B being 2 days bigger than A. The peri said if he had to guess they were both girls.

Another Peri appt on 11/19 so they should for sure be able to tell gender then since ill be 16 weeks

everything is great! woohoo

STARVING

Well morning sickness is gone...you know what that means!

BRING ON THE FOOD! Oh my I have gained 5 lbs! Whoops.

I really want some BBQ! There is a place in my hometown called Allegoods, it is a butcher shop, they have really good BBQ...if i wasnt broke I would be tempted to take a trip lol

Jumble

I am going to start off my jumble of thoughts with the fact that I HATE my internet service provider. I have CLEAR internet, and it SUCKS. Out of every hour it is down at least 15 minutes. I am beginning to get VERY aggrivated with it.

I have been researching today because the kids are at their dads. First on my list was the hospital I will be delivering at. The reviews are not good. It worries me. I really wanted to use a midwife and do a water birth or even a home birth. My IMs wanted me to use their OB, so I agreed, afterall it is their child. But yeah after seeing the reviews I feel really let down. I have met my OB once, and my first OB appt is next week but I wont be seeing my OB. She seemed nice...but in the same sense she isn't a midwife. I used a CNM at my OBs office for both my childrens births. I HATED the hospital I delivered at. Once you were there you were strapped to monitors, given an IV and not allowed to get out of bed til after delivery. I am pretty sure this hospital I will be delivering at will be the same...It makes me sad because I promised myself I would never do that again. I have been told I can have a doula though, so I am hoping that will help some since I dont have a husband or family to be with me at the birth. I am also scared of being forced into a c-section. I do not want one period unless the babies are in danger. Selfishly enough my main reason is not having help after the birth. I am a single parent with no family here and I cannot care for 2 toddlers by myself after major surgery.

I am not whining though, I promise. I am just hoping after I see the OB i get some better answers to my questions and can relax and enjoy being in the "I don't feel pregnant stage" the morning sickness is gone, my belly is not so big that it is keeping me from doing things and though my back and hips hurt it isn't bad yet...so I can generally say I feel good right now. I feel baby B move all the time, but I don't think I have ever felt baby A...can't wait for the Level 2 to see that everything is ok with the munchkin...